The “small request, big request” psychological technique

Boumen
5 min readSep 6, 2022

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I’ve always been fascinated by human psychology. It’s for me to explore as a big universe, and it can help me understand our simple or complex daily interactions.

The one and only purpose of this post is to share knowledge.

The Small Then Big Request technique is a strategy that assumes that approving a small request increases the likelihood of accepting a larger one.
So, you make a small request at first, and once the person agrees to it, it becomes more difficult for them to refuse a larger one.
Assume one of your friends missed their last psychology class and requested to borrow your notes.
This is a simple request that makes sense, so you’ve come to lend your friend the notes.
A week later, the same friend requests all of your psychological notes.
This is a significant request; do you agree or not ?

The “small then big request” technique is based on the consistency principle.
People prefer not to be paradoxical in their actions and beliefs.
This means that the setup will work as long as the request is consistent with or similar in nature to the original small request.

The ambiguity about the mechanisms underlying the effect complicates future research on the “small then big request” technique.
The most common explanation for the effect is that people engage in some kind of self-perception process.
This shift in self-perception accounts for the increased likelihood of complying with the second request.
Compliance with the first request, according to the self-perception interpretation, changes the individual’s self-image.
People come close to seeing themselves as the type of person who complies with such requests or supports such causes after agreeing to the small request, even though almost everyone will do so.

When deciding whether to respond to the second request, these individuals will consider whether they are the type to accept such requests.
Given that their changing self-concept indicates that the answer is yes, the request is more likely to be approved !!

According to many experiments, research, and studies on determining the appropriate period between the first and second requests, the researchers used periods ranging from a few seconds to two weeks and found an average of 4,4 days between the two requests in the studies they reviewed, with 27% of the studies with no elapsed time between the two requests.
As a result, specifying the exact length of the time between the two requests has no significant impact to accept the second request.

following an immediately approved request with a second request … not good ?

On the one hand, when an applicant follows an immediately approved request with a second request, interaction theory can partially explain the response to the second request.
People are motivated to maintain a sense of personal freedom, according to psychological interaction theory.
When we recognize attempts to limit our freedom, such as pressure to make a decision, we frequently act to reassert our ability to do as we please.
Typically, this reaction takes the form of taking the opposite action advocated by the person applying the pressure.
As a result, when the technique of “small and then large request” is used immediately without allowing an appropriate period between the two requests, the person being requested may feel excessive pressure from the applicant who is following up on one request with another.
In this case, people may feel forced to say “no” to assert their right to do whatever they want.

In the other hand, The reciprocity rule may apply to people who request (successively and immediately) a second time the same person.
The standard of reciprocity is a widely accepted social norm that states that we must give to others and receive from them in a relatively equal way.
One application of this rule is that most of us feel obligated to return the favor when someone does something nice for us.
We tend to react negatively to those who break the rule of reciprocity, just as we do with other social rules.
Social exchanges continue as long as both parties understand the reciprocal nature of these exchanges.

A person who continues to receive or give without expecting reciprocity jeopardizes the socially agreed-upon framework of social interaction.
In short, requests and privileges are carried out reciprocally in our society, and someone who continues to demand without making compromises is likely to receive a negative reaction.

Here are some examples to help you understand the concept better:

Example #1 — A son to his father:
Small request — can I borrow the car in the evening?
BIG REQUEST — Can I use the car for a 5-day trip?

Example #2 A daughter to her mother:
A small request — can I go to Sarah’s house?
Big request — Sarah is going to the mall, can I go with her?
Bigger Request — Can I borrow money to visit the mall’s playground and food court?
Bigger request — can you come to pick me up from the mall?

Example #3 — A man to his friend
A small request — can you help me move my sofa to the new apartment?

BIG REQUEST — Can you help me move all my furniture to the new apartment?

Example #4 from an employer to an employee
Small request — can you come to work for an hour on the weekend?
Big Request — Can you set aside an entire day during the weekend?

Conclusion

Finally, for the “small then, big request” technique to be effective, the volume of demands must be proportionate.
The first request should be significant enough for the person to develop a self-perception that he or she is assisting the other person, but not so significant that he or she rejects it.

The success of successive requests is heavily reliant on the fact that they are an extension of the smaller initial demand rather than something entirely new.
It is recommended that a reasonable amount of time be allowed between requests to ensure approval.

Do you know what Poker Face means? It’s for the next post.

Some references:

The Art of Psychological Warfare, Michael T. Stevens, Make
profit easy LLC, 2016

Manipulation Techniques, Richard Campbell, 2019

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Boumen
Boumen

Written by Boumen

I publish articles on Agile, Coaching, Productivity Improvement